Giving to Receive

In the past few weeks, God handed me an incredible blessing that I am beyond thankful for. He went above and beyond my limitations to achieve something I could not have on my own, and He grew me tremendously in the process. But this blessing came with a challenge; I need to give some things up to take it because I cannot receive anything when my hands are full.

Why is it so hard to let go of things, even when I know that I’m only exchanging them for something better that God has for me? Because My point of view has been distorted. Even though I know that life is a series of seasons, I automatically expect that things will stay the same for a lot longer than they do and I let certain things become a security blanket of sorts. This happens when I take God’s blessings for granted and forget that they are His to take and give whenever and however He pleases. My Heavenly Father only gives good gifts, and He only asks me to give something up if it will be to my benefit.

Perhaps the most frustrating thing about this particular struggle I’ve been working through is that it feels so dumb. I need to give up some things to take a job, and the thing I’m struggling to give up most it the majority of my vegetable garden. Yeah, I told you it was dumb. But I realized that the struggle is because my garden had become an idol to me. It is something I love doing, something I am fairly good at, and a lot of people know me for it. Also, it has been a way for me to deal with stress because it was a great place to escape. I could think, pray and physically work the stress out of my body – and I could do so in solitude because my family knew that I would try to put them to work if they came close enough. I could work hard and tire myself out enough to sleep well at night. In short, it was an easy way to deal with life. Letting go of my big garden is not easy because of what I allowed it to become. It filled a need I had during the time I had it, but I took it for granted and in my mind forgot that God can fill my needs in different ways as He takes me different places.

God has given me an incredible opportunity with my new job, but He is just asking for trust in exchange. Trust that He can take care of my stress and be my refreshment. Trust that He alone can take me where I need to go and keep me there for just as long as I need to be. Trust that He is more than able to sufficiently fill my needs.